Inkheart, you broke my heart.

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!
Why oh why did they have to totally slaughter the book and make the worst movie ever? It was horrid. There were flying Monkeys for cripes sake!! I ask you what the h-e-l-l was that all about it?!?!?! And let's not forget the crocodile from Peter Pan. They even had the crappiest looking gingerbread house prop make an appearance.

By far the two most distracting things in the movie were the ridiculous words tattoed allover the Inkheart characters faces! It looked vulgar and comical and really cheapened the movie. Are we the movie audience deemed to be idiotic enough that we wouldn't have been able to figure out that they were characters sprang from the book without having sharpie allover their faces? Honestly.
The fact that Moe had an American accent while his daughter Meggie had a very thick English accent. Was also another misstep. Um yeah we noticed the moment the first lines were uttered. I kept trying to figure out how it made sense. But being as she was raised by just Moe all those years and didn't go to formal school where the heck would she have picked it up?

Anyway, the storyline is completely hashed together with pretty CG effects thrown in here and there. Andy Serkis, who is known for his portrayal of Gollum, played Capricorn. The entire time I just waited for him to start coughing "Gollum! Gollum!" he did not suit the role. I could not separate him from his previous role. Oh he was nasty but definitely not the Capricorn I envisioned.

Eleanor was just as I had imagined her though much thinner. Her sharp tongue was delightful.
However, trying to make her braver than she really was turned into two scene stealing shots that were nothing short of preposterous. A lone rider on a motorcycle racing to save Moe and Meggie, scarf poetically whipping in the wind. And well I will not ruin the last one for you but it was absolutely ridiculous.

I will say that the actor who portrayed Dustfinger did do a fine job and it didn't hurt that he took his shirt off either. His skills with fire were impressive.

Don't worry I will not divulge anymore but I will tell you that I left the theater in disgust after the ending. In fact I wanted to leave during the ending. It was not anywhere close to the book and dashed all hope ( not that I would want to go see it) of a second movie installment.
So my advice to you is to wait before it comes out on DVD so you can swear and curse out loud in the privacy of your own home.

I promise my next post will be much more upbeat. ;P